How to Talk to Your Children About Fostering

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Fostering is a profound commitment that impacts not just the child in need, but your entire family as well. It’s crucial to discuss this decision with your own children in a way they can understand and accept.

This guide aims to help you navigate this important conversation. We’ll provide tips on how to explain fostering in kid-friendly terms, create an open dialogue about the changes it can bring, and address any fears or concerns your children may have. With patience and understanding, this conversation can be a stepping stone towards enriching your family’s life through fostering.

Understanding the Concept of Fostering

Fostering, in simplest terms, is when a family opens their home to care for a child whose birth family is unable to look after them. It’s like becoming a temporary family for those children who need it the most.

There are many reasons why a child may need fostering. It could be due to illness, family crisis, or situations where their welfare might be at risk. It’s important to understand that these children have not done anything wrong; they’re just going through tough times.

It’s crucial to remember that fostering is usually temporary. The goal is often to reunite the child with their birth parents once the situation improves. Sometimes, if reunification isn’t possible, the foster family may become a forever family through adoption.

Preparing for the Conversation

Choosing the Right Time and Place: Deciding when and where to have a serious conversation is crucial. Opt for a quiet, comfortable place where you won’t be interrupted. Choose a time when both of you are calm and not rushed, such as after dinner or during a leisurely walk.

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Maintaining Openness and Patience: During the discussion, it’s vital to be open, patient, and understanding. Listen more than you speak. Put yourself in their shoes and try to understand their perspective. Don’t rush to judgement or conclusions.

Using Age-Appropriate Language: When explaining complex issues, use language that matches the listener’s age and understanding. Simpler words for younger kids, more complex explanations for older ones. Always check for understanding and encourage questions. This will ensure your message gets across effectively.

When to Start the Talk: The best time to start talking to your children about becoming a foster carer is before you begin the application process. Doing this will give them time to process the idea of welcoming a foster child and provide opportunities to ask questions they may have.

What to Say: Begin your conversation by explaining what being a foster carer involves and why you want to do it. Be completely transparent with your justifications for waiting to become a foster carer. Perhaps you want to give children in need a loving home. Perhaps you were in the foster care system yourself and understand what it’s like.

You also need to tell your children how being a foster carer may impact their lives. They will be sharing their home and parents with another child, which may mean making adjustments to their daily life.

Answering Any Questions

Your children will undoubtedly have questions, so be prepared to answer them. They may have questions about why children are in foster care, how long they’ll be with you, and what happens if they don’t get along.

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You may not have all of the answers, but you must be as forthcoming as possible while attempting to see things from their perspective. If you need additional information to help answer your questions, Orange Grove Foster Care has plenty of resources and a wealth of articles in their blog.

Encourage Questions

If your children don’t have a stream of questions straight away, simply let them know that you’re available and that you’re ready to answer any questions they may have. The more open and honest everyone is, the easier the transition will feel.

How to Help Your Children Adjust to Fostering

After you’ve had the conversation, you’ll likely need to help your children adjust. The aim is to highlight how much of a positive experience fostering can be for both yourself and your children. Here are a few strategies:

  • Set clear boundaries and expectations for your children and foster children.
  • Facilitate relationships through shared activities.
  • Practice patience, understanding, and support.
  • Take time to talk about your children’s feelings.

There’s no denying how much of a difference you’ll make by becoming a foster carer, but it’s essential to ensure your children are on board. Talk to them early, be transparent, and be prepared to ask questions.


In conclusion, discussing fostering with your children is a significant conversation that requires careful planning and execution. We’ve explored the importance of choosing an appropriate time and place, being open and patient, and using age-appropriate language.

Remember, this isn’t a one-time discussion but an ongoing dialogue. Be prepared to answer questions, address concerns, and offer reassurances as needed.

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Fostering can bring about a profound change in your family dynamic, but it’s equally rewarding. It allows your family to grow in love, compassion, and understanding. Most importantly, it provides a child in need with a safe, nurturing environment where they can flourish. As you embark on this journey, remember that patience, empathy, and open-mindedness are your best allies.