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One of the many things we love about winter is that it inspires all kinds of delicious soup recipes! The tasty recipes below will warm you from the inside out and cause your 3-year-old to lose his damn mind.

1. Chicken Noodle Soup with Visible Vegetables. Simmer root vegetables and egg noodles in chicken broth for a complete meal in a bowl. When your tear-streaked 3-year-old points a shaky finger to the floating orange items, inform him that on Earth we call those carrots and that they mean him no harm.

2. Tomato Soup. Did you know that tomatoes are rich in vitamin C? This velvety soup is often served alongside grilled cheese which is good because that’s all your 3-year-old will eat. As you empty his untouched bowl into the sink, try not to curse aloud.

3. Beef and Barley Soup. Mmm mmm good! The soft pieces of barley and tender morsels of fall-off-the-bone beef will leave your child in a puddle of devastation under the kitchen table. Serve with Hawaiian rolls.

4. French Onion Soup. Melted cheese atop bowls of rich broth will in your three-year-old’s eyes look like festering sores on a donkey’s anus.

5. Cream of Broccoli Soup: The color alone will leave your three-year-old wailing as if Animal Control just put down the entire cast of Paw Patrol. This soup pairs wonderfully with a 2007 Riesling and whatever medication you’re on.

Bon appetit!