Elf on the Shelf Fails To Move For Several Days, Presumed Dead

It was a sad scene in Concord, New Hampshire this Friday as 7 year-old Bailey Norman and his 4 year-old sister Samantha laid to rest their Elf on the Shelf.

“Sparkle hadn’t moved in three days. It was time,” sniffled Bailey.

During the backyard ceremony, young Samantha touched the small crowd of mourners with a soulful rendition of The Wheels on the Bus.

“You’re the angels’ Elf on the Shelf, now. Peace out, Sparkle,” whispered Bailey as he threw a handful of mini marshmallows on the casket. Sparkle was buried in a plot adjacent to the family’s late hamster, Churro, and six fallen goldfish.

A candy cane vigil is scheduled for Saturday night at 5pm. Guests are asked to wear red and white, Sparkle’s favorite colors.

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